I Don't Love You Anymore - Update

If you followed the story of Roy and Samantha it becomes clear that both partners want to find a way to restore their prior relationship. Their lives are much like many who are caught up chasing the dream of success.

It is often difficult to keep focus on family matters when that part of your life is less than 1/2 the time you spend working. If you remove sleep time Roy and Sam get about 4-5 hours a day as a family if Roy gets home on time. Compare that with a minimum of 8 hours to expected 9-10 hours a day at work. With his current work schedule it is probably 3-4 hours as a family. That is Sam's concern, that is Roy ignorance.

Two partners who agree on a shortfall in their relationship have the tools to solve the problem if they want. Two partners who do not agree or if one partner places a lower value on something than the other partner it will be difficult to fix.

Roy and Sam found a missing key to keep their marriage alive and together. Roy is committed to the plan, Sam is waiting to see reality compared to words.

As Always,

Gay

Today's Events - I Don't Love You Anymore

For a while we are going to follow Roy and Samantha as they face a major problem in their marriage. Roy started his business two years ago and of necessity made the success of his business his top priority often arriving home 2 or more hours after dinner, sometime after the children are in bed. Sam used her real estate degree to enter commercial real estate successfully yet managing to keep her priorities centered around the family.

The first article in this series is titled, "I Don't Love You Anymore, A Statement of Intent, A Declaration of Desire." Establishes the first issue facing these two professional people as Sam brings her frustrations and anger to Roy.

We will follow along as the next article is published, "I Don't Love You Anymore, A New Chapter, The Next Step."

Let's see where Roy and Samantha take the problems and how they look for solutions.

Other topics may enter comments along the way but we will return periodically to how the couple is doing in their efforts.

As Always,

Gay

Today's Events

Dealing with the aftermath of a divorce can be a long, laborious process. Basically any fallout of the process for family, friends, or you can easily get out of hand. Some recent articles attempt to provide examples of where you will find the aftermath remaining.

Keep in mind always that you have to come first in the recovery. This is not normally the type of response we think of as selfless but in this case it is just that. Many people rely on you, possibly your direction and as a role model. While you think that cannot be true be assured it is. What they need to see, what you need to feel is that you are in control of your life regardless of the problems being encountered.

You will have to wander through the adjustment period of friends trying to see if they can still be your friend. Lots of items to work through on this. Keep in mind that friends that count will be there, convenient friends will leave. Know the difference and let those friends go.

Also realize that down this dark road a light awaits, it may be a casual date, it may be a blind date set by a real friend. At some point you will want this and will find the effect absolutely wonderful in about every way. Keep in mind you must keep your emotions in control to avoid any hurt as this period develops. Let it be natural, not rushed, not intense initially.

At the most unexpected time, in the most unexpected place and for the most unexpected reason you will encounter your Ex. Judge the feelings carefully when that occurs, do not shy away from them but explore what you take away from that chance meeting. It will help you with decisions on the road ahead.

As Always,

Gay