Divorce seems to once again be a topic of interest. For that reason two new articles have been published on Ezine dealing with divorce. One is, "How Do I Stop Divorce When My Spouse Says- I Don't Love You Anymore, We Need to Separate" and also, "4 Ways to Live Through a Crisis When These Words Are Spoken,I Want a Divorce."
Both address the reality of divorce as to cause and how to view your future but as importantly, what to do for yourself today. If divorce has ever visited your doorstep you will understand the attempt to bring rationalism to an irrational event. Just remember you did not initiate the divorce, maybe you did but that is another discussion, which makes it hard for you to understand why your mate wants a divorce.
This is a drastic measure driven by some event, feeling, or goal in which you are not a party. Trying to meet your spouse in a common place is probably not going to happen since you are in the hurt place, they are in the "finally did it" place.
Though they feel some relief at telling you what they want there is some degree of guilt carried inside by your soon to be Ex. Time will be your ally to move forward with resolution of the request to divorce and the ability to talk to your spouse without hostility, anger and disgust. The big looming question you will have to address at some point concerns if you want to attempt to save the marriage. A lot of marriages can be saved if that is a goal, it depends on the cause, the fallout and future trust.
Always take care of yourself first as that allows other items to be address and handled.
As Always,
Gay
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Today's Events
Have you ever listened to a song and have a friend exclaim, "that's our song." Then when you are asked, "what's yours?" you say you don't have a song.
The truth is you do have a song. It might not have music and lyrics to be heard but it is written and played every day. Think about all the special events, acts or sharing between the two of you and the song starts to take shape. What you have could be a romantic ballad, a hot rock song, a cool jazz selection or maybe a homey country tune. It all depends on the couple in the relationship and how they live.
Remember the things that happened this year that made you laugh, your partner laugh. Remember those moments that brought a tear to your eye not necessarily from sadness but happiness as well. Each moment that stirs your emotions when think about you and your partner's life together contributes to your song.
If things ever get a bit stressed with your partner remember to play your song together. You will be surprised how just doing the things that make up your song will rekindle what made you great in the past and will in the future.
A good relationship is built on many factors. If time is taken to capture those it is quite easy to find them again if it is necessary. Always remember your song and what it means to your life. Play it often.
Alway the best,
Gay
The truth is you do have a song. It might not have music and lyrics to be heard but it is written and played every day. Think about all the special events, acts or sharing between the two of you and the song starts to take shape. What you have could be a romantic ballad, a hot rock song, a cool jazz selection or maybe a homey country tune. It all depends on the couple in the relationship and how they live.
Remember the things that happened this year that made you laugh, your partner laugh. Remember those moments that brought a tear to your eye not necessarily from sadness but happiness as well. Each moment that stirs your emotions when think about you and your partner's life together contributes to your song.
If things ever get a bit stressed with your partner remember to play your song together. You will be surprised how just doing the things that make up your song will rekindle what made you great in the past and will in the future.
A good relationship is built on many factors. If time is taken to capture those it is quite easy to find them again if it is necessary. Always remember your song and what it means to your life. Play it often.
Alway the best,
Gay
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Today's Events
A question that comes up frequently is what to do about a spouse after they admit having an affair with a co worker. Unfortunately that type situation is all too common. How each person handles this grief, hurt, loss and despair changes with each individual.
It all comes down to you and what you want to do, how much they want to work out the problem, how much is at stake with children, and how much the loss of trust weighs on your heart. There is really, "no size fits all" in addressing these concerns.
On the Internet, in stores, radio and TV you can numbers of experts willing to provide the solution to your problem. It has been my experience that most of the sources can provide guidelines, some how to plans but cannot reach into your mind. The application, the solution must be within the individual dealing with the problem.
I can recommend a book that is one of the best and probably will help with some general, some specific concerns but you must determine if you need a personal counselor for just you, or you and your spouse. Do you both want it to work? Do you feel trust can return? Answer not just in the heart but in your mind. It takes both commitments to work.
Take some time to think this through, consider what you want, the steps you are willing to follow, read some guides to finally decide if obtaining a marriage counselor is the appropriate step for your marriage. This recovery will not be easy but not impossible either. It all depends on you and your spouse.
Always the best,
Gay
It all comes down to you and what you want to do, how much they want to work out the problem, how much is at stake with children, and how much the loss of trust weighs on your heart. There is really, "no size fits all" in addressing these concerns.
On the Internet, in stores, radio and TV you can numbers of experts willing to provide the solution to your problem. It has been my experience that most of the sources can provide guidelines, some how to plans but cannot reach into your mind. The application, the solution must be within the individual dealing with the problem.
I can recommend a book that is one of the best and probably will help with some general, some specific concerns but you must determine if you need a personal counselor for just you, or you and your spouse. Do you both want it to work? Do you feel trust can return? Answer not just in the heart but in your mind. It takes both commitments to work.Take some time to think this through, consider what you want, the steps you are willing to follow, read some guides to finally decide if obtaining a marriage counselor is the appropriate step for your marriage. This recovery will not be easy but not impossible either. It all depends on you and your spouse.
Always the best,
Gay
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